It's day eighteen out here in the open waters, and I can't say that I've been enjoying it much. Part of me wonders if I'm really human anymore. When I think about the past few days, a shiver crawls up my spine. People always seem to think that a quest takes a lot quicker than they actually do. I've seen plenty of princes declare their quests to find a beautiful princess somewhere out there, but after several months, they return with a witch who claims that she'll love them forever. And then she dies. Probably because of them. It's important to think about the costs and the benefits when going on a quest. Which makes me realize just how stupid I am, seeing as there's no real benefit to this, only a cost.

                                                                                            ~*~

         The tall oakwood trees around me appeared less like a forest and more like home as I sat in the mud. A nearby bush rustled as a young man appeared. He had a lot more wrinkles then one would expect, especially for how young he appeared.

         "I couldn't help but notice that you were in distress, my lady. Is there anything that a prince could do that would alleviate your burdens?" he asked. His annunciation was so perfect, just like his perfect face. Getting off his perfectly clean royal horse, he grandly offered his hand to lift me out from the muck. But I didn't move.

         "Contrary to what this might seem, I need to be sitting here," I assured him. His beautiful brown locks gently curled around his chin as his deep, blue eyes widened in confusion. A small mole dotted the lower side of his incredibly straight jaw line.

         "You may call me Prince Nicholas," he replied.

         "A pleasure to meet you," I awkwardly ducked my head as an attempt at a bow. The muck made it difficult to move my feet. I kept thinking about how that warlock, who I later found out was named Sorren, would keep his end of the deal.

         "Your Highness," he insisted. "You must address a prince before you continue conversing. Such is the way of a gentlewoman." He puffed out his chest and smiled expectantly.

         In that moment, I felt the thin strands of my sanity snap. Here I was with no food and water for days, and a prince was trying to teach me court manners in the woods. I scooped up a dripping ball of mud and aimed for the prince's royal suit. It made a deliciously satisfying slap as it slid down his sky blue robes, creating a dull green mark in its wake. His deep, beautiful voice turned harsh and high-pitched as he screamed in horror. Frantically moving his hands around the mark, he screamed louder as it spread more. Throwing back my grimy head, I laughed hysterically. I was not in the right mind.

         "These were my best robes. You do not understand the pain this has caused me. What am I to say to my parents? They will be most disappointed," he whined. He looked at me with sad, blue eyes as his shoulders caved in shame. He sighed and removed his crown from his head.

         "These things are heavy you know," he playfully waved it around with one finger. Leaning back against a tree, he let out another grand sigh. "I hoped this would be the last time I would have to go on a quest." His voice changed into something that sounded more familiar. Like a normal person. For a moment he looked at me and smiled in a way that almost made me swoon. I plopped back down into the mud and stuck my hands in to remind myself that I was on a mission. I didn't have time to chitchat with a prince. A prince who seemed more like a sad young man with a heavy crown to bear.

         "I didn't ask for this either," I said. "Who ever likes beheading as an ultimatum? You have no choice with that kind of stuff." Nicholas’s eyes drooped as he looked more like a defeated puppy. 

         "But I have to be a hero. It's what the witch said. It's my destiny." He curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth, humming a strange melody. The melody lulled me to sleep as I sank my back into the mud. When I opened my eyes, I saw the same dark locks and that old man face that I saw back at the castle pantry.

         It was Sorren.

         "The prince left a while ago. Made some comment about trying to get you on his horse, but then hesitated when I told him it would make the perfectly white horse messy." He shook his head and laughed.

         "I'm glad he didn't. I think he mistook me for a lost maiden in distress," I joked.

         "Well, I got what you wanted. And these are quality," he said. In his hand, he had what I was looking for: the scales of a rainbow fish.

         "I deserve a high quality trinket for this," he complained as he held out his hand expectantly. I groaned and pulled out a sapphire beaded chain and threw it at his face. Grabbing the chain, he pulled out a loaf of bread and threw it back.

         "For extra service." He bowed. I grabbed the loaf and shoved it in my mouth.

         "This better work or else I expect another exchange!" Specks of bread flew out as I yelled, but he vanished into thin air.

         The rainbow scales were stunning. About the size of my palms, they were as white as the purest pearls, but with an iridescent glow that gave them specks of every color. In pure satisfaction, I held them in my hands as I completely covered myself in mud. Holding onto my gold winged pigs for luck, I bit once more into the loaf and walked towards the sea troll's cave. I had been sitting in that mud pile for days, watching the troll enter and leave his cave to go back to the sea, looking for men who made the sad mistake of trying to fight a sea troll in water. My heart pounded in my ears as I approached the cave. It was a mountain with a harsh, carved entrance, like something had taken a bite out of it. Reaching the end of the cave, I found myself face-to-face with a sleeping sea troll.

         Its breath was horrible. More pungent than seven fish markets combined, it smelled of rancid fish and dirty sea water. I breathed through my mouth and was thankful that the caked mud hid any hints of the smell of human blood. My hands began to shake as I moved in closer. Snoring loudly, the troll exhaled deeply, causing the sound to rumble and shake throughout the entire cave. The size of one tooth was bigger than me, and it had a silvery glow that mad it seem like a mirror. As I unsheathed my knife, I saw an orb of white open beside me. The troll was awake.

         "Who dares to awake my slumber! I smell the delicious smell of human blood," he roared. I wanted to rip my ears in pain from the sound. In fury, I searched my body for a patch of vulnerable skin. Was I missing a spot? But there was none. I had covered myself completely in mud.

         It was someone else.

         "It is I, No Face," a man's voice shouted. I turned around to see a pair of familiar green eyes. It was him. The guy from the market. Again. I groaned loudly.

         "Keep that up Alma Riverland, and you might as well be dead," the young man whispered. I glared at him. 

         "Actually, if you didn't show up, I would have been done already." 

         "Not likely. You're the least experienced out of all the contestants. I saw you talking to the old man, and he looked at you like a lost cause."

         "Well if you weren't glaring at people all the time, then maybe you'd properly hear what we were actually talking about! You're just a pair of fishball eyes," I snapped.

         He pulled me back and glared. "It's Ernest. And if you stay quiet and listen, you'll at least get out of here alive. You shouldn't have come here. This is not a place where a woman survives."

         I tried to let out a bitter laugh, but there was too much mud in my throat. "Who knows, women make much better company than a troll," I mocked. His cold face turned ugly as he brought his face closer to mine.

         "Don’t ruin this for me. I'm not going to wait for girls who bring me down," he hissed. I rolled my eyes and pushed him back.

         "You're the one who didn't plan ahead far enough. Human blood is like the smell of cooked meat to trolls," I growled.

         "NO FACE, SHOW YOURSELF!" the troll thundered. Its deep voice grew louder as it rose from the stone bed.

         "I cannot, unless you wait till the dark of night. Only then will I show you who I am," Ernest yelled back. He proudly approached the troll. With a small sword. I wanted to die inside. That was not the way to fight a troll.

         "I WAIT FOR NO ONE," the troll roared. "I WILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD." Ernest was clever, I would give him that. But trolls were not stupid. I remembered that most were actually really impatient. So I picked up my pigs and spoke quietly.

         "Silly pigs, pair of wings, cannot fly, but things you fix. Listen closely to my spell, and angry souls can change as well." The winged pigs began to move, and a familiar giggle gently echoed through the air. The troll's snarly mouth changed into a pleasant smile. I jumped in front of him and waved.

         "Please, we mean no harm," I beamed my best smile. Ernest cursed and tried to grab me, but slowly he opened his mouth in shock as the troll nodded calmly. The sun was slowly setting, and the rays of light began to gently hit the inside of the cave.

         "It's quite alright, that little man over there was quite confusing with his strange name games," the troll heartily laughed and sat back down. As he sat, the earth trembled and I fell to my knees. His laughter slowly grew sour as he began to cry.

         "It’s nice to have guests over. I miss having friends." He wiped his tears with his grimy hands. "I don’t really like playing with the other trolls. All we do is play 'kill the human.' It's not a fun game," he sniffled. "I wish we would stay home and talk about nice things like the weather. Ooh the sun!" Feeling the light heat up my hair, I took a deep breath. As the sun set right above the trolls eyes, I spread the rainbow scales into the shape of a fan and placed them in front of the sunlight. Suddenly a burst of light exploded from the scales as streaks of rainbows flooded the entire cave. The troll's eyes turned as wide as a child's as the lights floated above him. Slowly, he closed his eyes and fell asleep smiling.

         Satisfied, I put the scales back in my sack. When I looked up, I saw Ernest sitting by the rocks. In a moment I was tempted to run, but that would be unfair. Ernest stared at me for a very long time. Then he slowly rose and walked over, tripping over a bit.

         His voice sounded strained and confused. "I can't say that I'm not surprised. But don't you think we should kill him? Just finish the job?" he asked, trying to regain his composure. His eyes darted back and forth between where we were and the troll was sleeping. All my nerves released as I started uncontrollably laughing. After a good couple minutes, I wiped away a few stray tears.

         "Trolls fall into deep sleep when struck by rainbow light. It's their one weakness. He won't be waking up for at least another 200 years. Didn't you know that?" I continued to chuckle. Ernest cursed and glared at me.

          "I hate you, you know," he said tiredly. "I had a plan and everything. I was going to give him the riddle, just like they did in the tales of old. They always say it works." I gave him a hard pat on the shoulder, which made him to tip forward and flail.

         "Well I don’t. Besides, those tales weren't based on actual experiences with trolls. And you wouldn't be such bad company if you laughed some more. Maybe then we would work better together, " I said, waving my finger. His eyes opened wide and a hint of a smile briefly flashed on his face. His eyes warmed up just a little before going cold. Looking at the sunset near the lake, I sighed. We had no choice but to start walking back.

                                                                                            ~*~

         It's been weeks of just sleeping and eating. In the royal castle of all places. While I knew the King was known for being unfair and manipulative, I didn't expect him to give us another test. Ernest swears that if he sees me again, he'll waste no time in getting rid of the competition, but I doubt it. Nicholas somehow convinced the King that he also took part in defeating the troll. And for some reason, the King was all too eager to believe him. In secret, Nicholas told me he would "get the next one." I tried to tell him that he could be free from his princely duties and go live his own life, but he was quick to teach me on honor and manhood, and told me that a prince wasn't allowed to be anything other than a hero. So I told him he currently wasn't.

         I'd be lying if I said this quest wasn't exhausting, but strangely, something about it was fun. Sorren and I have our own trade deal, and for the most part, I find it easy to bargain with him. But lately Sorren keeps eyeing my necklace. Part of me is afraid he knows what the pigs can do.